A father's appreciation

Nathan and Jordan / 2007

Four chapters into the book I'm reading, I was stopped in my tracks by this paragraph:

Lou puts his arm around Rolph. If he were an introspective man, he would have understood years ago that his son is the one person in the world with the power to soothe him. And that, while he expects Rolph to be like him, what he most enjoys in his son are the many ways he is different: quiet, reflective, attuned to the natural world and the pain of others.

 -- Jennifer Egan, "A Visit From The Goon Squad"

 

For me, it's beside the point that Lou is a twice-divorced jerk having a fling with a younger woman. Or that Rolph is an earnest 11-year-old boy, not quite at the cusp of adolescence, not yet fully aware of his father's character flaws.

No, the power of that paragraph lies in that it made me stop and ask: What about my own kids? How are they different from me? And what do I enjoy most about them?

With Father's Day nearly upon us, it's a good time to answer those questions.

Nathan is outgoing, comfortable in seemingly any kind of new social situation. I can still be a wallflower at times, but he often (and quite naturally) becomes the center of attention with his storytelling and killer sense of humor. It's been great to see him grow comfortable in his own skin.

Simone in Oaxaca, Mexico / 2006

Simone is self-confident, a trait that's rooted in her academic success and enhanced by working in the trenches with the disadvantaged: alternative high school students, teen parents, gay youth, immigrant kids and their parents. It's one thing to write about the poor and the overlooked, as I've done, and another to work with them directly, as she has. She walks the talk when it comes to social justice.

Jordan is independent-minded, someone who is unafraid to take the path less traveled by his peers, joining the Army at 21, getting married at 22. I enjoy solitary activities like running and swimming  but he takes it to another level, welcoming the mano-a-mano of wrestling and mixed martial arts. I guess you could say he's fearless when it comes to physical challenges.

These were the first things that popped into my head. A good followup question: Are these traits the products of nature or nurture?

Breakfast, bowling and the N-word

Sunday was one of those days where there was nothing special going on -- just a few ordinary things, scheduled and impromptu, that added up to a satisfying, relaxing day.

Morning: Got up early and went to the gym, my first day exercising after missing three in a row due to a cough and cold. Amazes me how quickly my strength (or perceived strength) slips away in that short a time. Going to make time this afternoon for a long run or swim.

Met Nathan for a brunch at Accanto, a classy cafe on Southeast Belmont that's owned by the same folks who operate Genoa, one of the city's finest restaurants. Nathan told me there's never a wait for a table because Accanto hasn't been discovered yet, and when I arrived I could see he was right.

I had a breakfast strata made with brioche, chevre, and turnip greens baked in a savory custard and served over a San Marzano tomato sauce topped with a sunnyside up egg. Nathan went for the bucatini carbonara, an artisian pasta with guanciale, pecorino, black pepper and eggs. Very nice.

We talked a bit about his and Sara's upcoming visit to Pittsburgh, where they will get to visit Simone and Kyndall, and about the wisdom to be found in this summer's "How To Be A Man" issue of Esquire.

Afternoon: Came home and went to the Irvington Farmers Market, a few blocks from our home, with Lori. We picked up some fresh fish and produce, olive oils, barbecue sauce, a bouquet of flowers, and a pita sandwich for Lori. Ran into a couple of folks from the neighborhood, then went down the street to Broadway Books and picked up a new novel. Feels good when we can patronize local vendors and merchants, especially those who are selling homemade products.

Had a reunion of sorts with the Broken Taco Shells, the coed bowling team that formed last fall and recently completed the third of three consecutive bowling seasons at Hollywood Bowl. We're taking the summer off as a team, so this was a nice gathering. Couple pitchers of beer, no pressure to beat another team and a side game of poker -- take one card for a spare, two cards for a strike and make your best hand. I had a full house, aces over jacks, and still lost to my buddy, John, who somehow came up with four eights!

Evening: Had a casual dinner built around leftover pork chops (as tasty as when we grilled them two days earlier), then watched a re-run of "60 Minutes." Sandwiched in between profiles of J. Craig Venter, the California microbiologist, and Colin Firth, the Oscar-winning actor, was a very thoughtful treatment of the national debate over the sanitized version of "Huckleberry Finn."

David Bradley

A well-meaning Southern publisher, a guy who grew up in segregated Alabama, took it upon himself to publish Mark Twain's classic to give teachers an alternative to the 1885 original, which is littered with more than 200 references to the N-word. The new version replaces the N-word in each and every instance with "slave."

Correspondent Byron Pitts visits a couple of high school classrooms and talks to teachers and students about the pros and cons of teaching the original version, but also provides a nice surprise when he interviews David Bradley, a creative writing professor at the University of Oregon. I hadn't heard of Bradley before, but his views are provocative and well articulated.

He argues for teaching "Huck Finn" with the original language, as it accurately reflects the speech that was used in those times in that part of the country. Substituting "slave" for "nigger" dilutes the power of the N-word, he says, and does a disservice to readers who otherwise have to confront why they react as they do to the uncomfortableness of the word and all it represents. I agree completely.

On the other hand, he says "nigger" is just a word, that depending on whom is speaking it and whom it directed to, the tone and delivery can totally change its meaning. That is, a black person speaking to another black person can claim it in a way that non-blacks cannot. I'm not black, so I can't say I would ever feel comfortable having that word spoken aloud in my absence. To me, it's detestable and hateful and I never speak it for the same reasons I don't ever say "wetback" or "beaner" or "spic" -- equally demeaning words directed at my people over the years.

Like I said, nothing special about yesterday. I guess it was ordinariness of the day that was so satisfying.

Dinner and two little Ewoks

Smidgen & Lori

After considerable driving Saturday and Sunday on our round-trip to Central Oregon, it was a luxury to have dinner across town Monday night at the home of Nathan and Sara.

They live in Southeast Portland in a modest two-bedroom home with a cozy kitchen, a huge fenced  backyard and a covered patio. It was our first time visiting them there, as Nathan just moved in a month ago with his girlfriend.

The dinner was delicious. Nathan slow-grilled some chicken with paprika and other spices until it was falling off the bone. Sara prepared a wonderful watercress, endive and radish salad with a lemon vinaigrette dressing and goat cheese crostini.

Uni talks to the hand

We also got the chance to meet their "roommates." Sara has two adorable Yorkshire Terriers -- a female named Uni and a male named Smidgen. They're about the same size as little bunnies and super friendly. If I didn't know better, I'd think the two little Ewoks were part of the cast in "Star Wars."

It's nice to see such a cute couple in their element. Hope to see 'em again this summer on their turf.

Lori and the three amigos

Jordan, Lori & Nathan

A year ago, Lori and I went over to Simone and Kyndall's place in North Portland to celebrate Mother's Day with a backyard brunch on a warm, sunny day. Nathan joined us but Jordan and Jamie weren't able to, as they were stationed in El Paso then.

Today it was a different lineup, but one that I think we'll remember for a long time: Lori, our two sons and me. The three amigos.

I'd invited Nathan and his girlfriend over to our place for brunch but she understandably declined in order to spend time with her mom, who also lives in the area. Then, on Friday we got confirmation that Jordan was going to be able to drive down from Olympia, where he and Jamie now live, although she was going to have to miss the gathering in order to work Sunday (today).

Jordan arrived in time Saturday for us to walk to dinner for one of his favorite meals: a chicken burrito from Chipotle. (What can I say? The guy knows what he likes.) He went out that night to see Nathan at Holocene, the night club where he works the door and sometimes DJs, so it was good they had Bro Time, considering how seldom they're able to see each other.

Around noon we sat down to a delicious brunch: spinach/sun-dried tomato frittata; wild mushroom mix with butter lettuce and pine nuts; mixed greens with orange wedges and a citrus dressing.

On a day when we honor the women who give us life and raise us, it was wonderful to see Lori positively beaming. We absolutely missed Simone and Kyndall (though we did talk to our daughter this morning), as well as Sara and Jamie. But seeing a mom with her two sons was pretty special. Throw in the ol' hubby and there was a lot of testosterone at the table. And a burp or two.

Nathan, George & Jordan

Lori and I always marvel at how wildly different our three children are. (And, come to think of it, how wildly different their significant others are from each other, too. But I suppose that makes sense.

All I know is that as a husband and father, nothing makes me happier than seeing my wife bask in the love and attention of our children. As the saying goes, she'd take a bullet for any of them.

No. 31 for Nate

Red Velvet cupcakes

Today marks Birthday No. 31 for our first-born child, Nathan.

We had him and his girlfriend Sara over for dinner last night, as it was just about our only opportunity around his special day. Sara's taking him to dinner tonight at a fine restaurant and they're hosting a big bash at their house next Sunday. (Yes, it's Mother's Day but it's also an extended celebration for him.)

Lori prepared pozole, the same dish I wrote about recently and which we served to our good friends, Bob and Deb, when they visited last month. It's been a big hit every time so why mess with success? Throw in some red velvet cupcakes for dessert and you've got one great meal.

For the last 10 months, Nathan has been the only one of our three kids living in Portland. Yet it's not uncommon for us to go two or three weeks without seeing him and Sara owing to conflicting work schedules and social calendars.

So, it was fun to see him two days in a row. On Sunday, he joined our team at a bowling fundraiser/pizza party for Big Brothers Big Sisters. Then, last night, it was dinner and birthday gifts. It's good to see him and his sweetie so much at ease with each other around us.

Life is good

Nathan at Tasty n Sons

Every once in a while, I pause to realize how much I have to appreciate in life. Today is one of those days.

I think it may have to do with the fact that I've been batching it this weekend. Lori flew down to San Francisco early Friday for annual gathering of her childhood friends, followed by a reunion of cousins on her dad's side. The old saying that absence makes the heart grow fonder applies in this case. I think it's healthy for each partner in a marriage to be able to get away like that, free from the routine of home and all that is familiar. She returns late tonight and it will be wonderful to see her again.

Burmese Red Pork Stew with short grain rice & eggs 

I went to a late breakfast today with Nathan. It was another one of those father-son dates where there are no distractions -- just full-on attention for each other while sharing a wonderfully delicious meal. After plowing through two large plates and three small ones at Tasty n Sons on North Williams Avenue, I understand what all the buzz is about. It's shot to my Top 3 list of breakfast joints in Portland. More important, it's great to hear of another job promotion and pay raise for Nathan -- this time at Holocene, where he works as a dance club doorman -- and his happiness with girlfriend Sara.

Meanwhile, I've been texting and talking with Simone to help her polish her resume and application essay for a summer fellowship that would allow her to stay in Pittsburgh for the summer. I appreciate the trust she continues to place in me as someone who can offer a critical eye in a constructive way. She's an amazing young woman, if I don't say so myself.

Also talked to my dad, who's 84 and living in Silver City, New Mexico, not far from the Mexican border. He recently had an accident where he lost his footing and fell getting out of his truck. He was checked out thoroughly at the local hospital and came out of it with nothing more than bumps, bruises, scrapes and skinned knees. Good to hear he's recovering well. Hope to visit him this year.

I passed on trying to get together a poker game this weekend so I could catch up on household chores, the NFL playoffs (Go Steelers! Go Packers!) and more music downloads (everything from '80s R&B to Bruno Mars). I'm heading out now on a long walk with Otto between rainstorms.

Life is good.

P.S. Almost forgot...Today's father-son time had extra meaning because it was a birthday treat. Nathan gave me a "certificate" last month that was good for a one-on-one breakfast anytime. Nice.

Food, fun and family

Saturday night was Date Night. Went out with Lori to Departure, the restaurant on the top floor of the historic Meier & Frank Building in the heart of downtown. Despite all the buzz surrounding the opening of the Nines, the luxury hotel that took over many of the upper floors in the building now operated by Macy's, I hadn't been in the building for at least a couple of years.

Suffice to say I was wowed. The views of the city from the 15th floor are stunning -- much like what I felt when I looked out at the Chicago cityscape from the John Hancock Tower. Departure itself is sleek and the Asian cuisine a cut above, with its sushi rolls, edamame and other small plate offerings. Urban Farmer, on the 8th floor, bills itself as a modern steakhouse offering organic cuisine. We'll have to go back in the new year.

After a light dinner, we walked through Pioneer Courthouse Square -- the site of the Portland bombing plot  -- and marveled at the size of the city's holiday tree. The photo below is actually of the trees in the northwest corner of the square, just outside the TriMet office and below a Starbucks store. We had a drink in the bar of the Heathman Hotel, then headed back home. A lovely evening.

The fun continued this morning. We met Nathan and girlfriend Sara for brunch at Country Cat, a restaurant in the Montavilla neighborhood of Southeast Portland. We discovered the place a couple years ago after one of Simone's concerts at a nearby church, but had only been there for a post-dinner snack. Today was our introduction to the fabulous breakfast and lunch menu.

Lori and Sara went for the Eggs Benedict, featuring smoked steelhead, while Nathan and I made do with a hash that featured autumn vegetables, Swiss chard and bits of pork loin, topped with poached eggs. Yum.

Portland's become known for its food scene as much as its left-leaning politics and proximity to the outdoors. We don't always treat ourselves in this way, but this weekend made me feel spoiled. What could be better than to share a delicious meal with people that I love?

P.S. The foodfest continued Sunday night at the Ringside, one of the city's premier steakhouses. Lori's brother turned 65 and we were invited to join Jim and his wife and another couple to celebrate at dinner. It this keeps up, I'm going to have to start wearing sweatpants.

Father-son date

Despite good intentions and living only two miles from us, we don't see Nathan nearly as often one might think. That's not a criticism of our first-born son-- it's just a fact of life, given his demanding work schedule and the growing amount of time he spends with his girlfriend.

So it was a real treat to have some father-son time tonight. Started off by going to Killer Burger for dinner. Great place, with about 10 choices on the menu and a selection of local microbrews on tap.  Nathan went for the Peanut butter-Pickle-Bacon burger and I went for the Barnyard, featuring ham, bacon, cheese. lettuce, tomato and a fried egg.

Nathan surprised me at the cash register by whipping out his wallet and treating me to dinner. Now that's a gesture any parent can appreciate. Turns out Nathan and every one of his co-workers at Audio Precision in Beaverton received a cash bonus in their most recent paycheck, a sweet surprise in this environment.

We ran into Nathan's former roommates, a recently wed couple, and shared a table while we downed our burgers and fries. Afterward, just the two of us went a couple doors down to Pal's Shanty and had a beer while we continued the conversation about work, life, the ups and downs, the things we grow from and the things we aspire to. Nothing heavy, just real talk, unfiltered and uninterrupted .

With Jordan serving in the Army and Simone off at graduate school, Nathan is the only one of our children still living in Portland. We felt his frustration when it took him nearly a year after his college graduation to find work in his field -- a marketing internship that has turned into a part-time regular position. But as good things have happened to him, both at work and in his personal life, we have shared in his joy and growing sense of self-confidence.

It hasn't always been this way. As Nathan himself said tonight, "Seven years ago, I don't know how you put up with me. I had my head so far up my ---." Happily, that's no longer the case.

Tonight was fun, plain and simple. Can't wait to do it again.

A film worth seeing

Dark. Foreboding. Menacing.

Those are just a few adjectives that pop to mind in describing "Winter's Bone." If that's not your cup of tea at the movies, then by all means, stay away. But if you appreciate a film that draws you in from the start and keeps you there with superb storytelling, authentic dialogue, regional music, great characters and tight editing, this may be one for you.

Nathan and I saw it last night and, boy, I can see why it won the Grand Jury Prize at this year's Sundance Film Festival. This is one of those independent films that puts Hollywood to shame and deserves all the acclaim it receives. It's filmed in Missouri and takes you deep inside a sinister subculture that revolves around meth, violence and a distrust of authorities so entrenched that it engulfs members of an extended family. Ultimately, though, it's a tale of a young woman's perseverance and integrity, of resilience and fierce love for her younger siblings.

Until a few weeks ago, I hadn't heard of the movie or its star, Jennifer Lawrence. But thanks to a blurb in Esquire's June/July issue, I was at least aware of it. When I learned it was in Portland theaters and had made Shawn Levy's "High Five" (he's The Oregonian's film critic), it stoked my curiosity even more. Here's Shawn's synopsis:

"A gripping drama about an Ozark Mountains teen trying to keep a hold on her family home in the wake of her father’s disappearance. The young actress Jennifer Lawrence is remarkably tough, smart and daring in the lead, and John Hawkes is terrifying as the crank-addicted uncle to whom she is forced to turn for help. Director/co-writer Debra Granik (“Down to the Bone”) pares the thing to essentials while leaving room for poetry and the vagaries of an often non-professional acting corps. The film braves an environment and a story that are minefields of cliché and never puts a foot wrong. The result is an engaging tale, a fascinating heroine, and a truly memorable film."

Here is David Katz's take in Esquire on Jennifer Lawrence, whose performance IMHO is worthy of an Oscar nomination.

"The film is a bleak family mystery set in the Ozark Mountains. She plays Ree Dolly, a survival-minded teenager who has to find her meth-head dad in order to save her family home. It's her movie, no question — she's in every single frame — but she almost wasn't in it at all. The producers initially rejected her because she was too attractive. Director Debra Granik (Down to the Bone) was savvy enough to cover up her pretty lead with a wool cap pressed low on her head for much of the movie. But Lawrence's role demanded a lot more than some uglying-up. She handles her character with a balance of rural resignation and girlish fear, and she never loses her grip. It's the kind of place-specific performance Daniel Day-Lewis would spend a year cooking meth in the mountains to get just right."

Here's a trailer:



And now, if I can find the time, I'd love to check out "Inception," Restrepo" and "Cyrus."

Photo by Sebastian Mylnarski

On the road again

No, not me. This time, it's the boys.

Sometime today, Nathan and six friends will head up I-5 and ferry from Anacortes to Orcas Island for a weekend stay, returning Tuesday. It's a quick getaway, one that I know will replenish the spirit with the slower rhythm of island life.

At the same time, Jordan and wife Jamie will also head up I-5 from the Medford area to come and spend a night with us in Portland. They left El Paso on Tuesday, saying goodbye to the desert heat and dreary landscape of Southwest Texas in order to move themselves to Joint Base Lewis-McChord near Olympia, Wash. They're eager to be back in the Northwest and settle into their new home, a duplex on a horse ranch near Lacey.

Unfortunately, the brothers will miss each other this weekend -- and it's a shame Jordan and Jamie also just missed saying goodbye to Simone before she moved to Pittsburgh earlier this week. But the nice thing is there will be plenty of opportunities for us and Nathan to see the newlyweds now that they're within easy driving distance.

I hope there won't be any snags at work today because I'd like to get home earlier than usual to see Jordan and Jamie. Neither one has even seen, let alone set foot in, our new home and I know they will be in for a shock. When Jordan enlisted in the Army last spring, we were still in the three-bedroom home in Grant Park. It's been a little over seven months since we've been in the Irvington condo.

Above: Nathan was best man at Jordan's wedding in November.

4th of July Hot Dog Buffet

That's how yesterday's Independence Day/going-away bash for Simone and Kyndall was billed -- and, boy, did it live up to its name.

The backyard event was billed as a tribute to "our nation's greatest contribution to the culinary world stage." The challenge for guests: to bring creative and delicious toppings that would do justice to the wieners and buns provided by the hosts.

My lame entry of Socialist Salsa consisted of crushed red, white and blue corn tortilla chips under a layer of medium-strength salsa. It was kicked to the curb by such entries as a Thai peanut sauce; blueberry "ketchup"/grilled onions/roasted red pepper and cream cheese (Nathan's); baked artichoke/jalapeno/cheese; bacon and cream cheese; s'mores -- grilled marshmallow/graham cracker/chocolate (Simone's); and many more.

But the winning entry came from Carrie Valentine, who is just one of many gourmet cooks in the circle of friends enveloping Simone and Kyndall. Her Reuben dog (pastrami, sauerkraut and Russian dressing) had everyone salivating for seconds. For her efforts, she won the kitschiest of prizes -- a Ron Jeremy action toy. (Who's Ron Jeremy? If you don't know, you're better off not asking...)

The day never really did heat up as expected, but that was fine by me. I met a lot of great people yesterday and came away with a new wallpaper photo of Lori and Otto for my iPhone.

Happy birthday, Nathan

We had a tight little gathering for Nathan's birthday last night -- Lori and me, Simone and Kyndall and, of course, the birthday boy.

I'm off on Mondays now, so I had plenty of time to prepare a favorite dish: paella. It's labor-intensive but, boy, is it good. Full of chicken, prawns, Spanish chorizo and clams, plus green beans, peas and a red pepper.

Here's the recipe from The Oregonian: Really Good Paella.

Judging from Nathan's expression, it was pretty tasty. And thanks to Simone's photography, here's what the dish looks like before it's attacked.

Simone provided the finishing touches with a wickedly good dessert made of toasted won-ton wrappers and honey, crushed almonds, ricotta cheese and strawberries. Yum.

Nathan at 30

Thirty.

Today we reach another milestone as parents. Our first-born, Nathan Alejandro, leaves his Twenties behind and begins a new phase of life at Thirty. The Big Three-Oh.

Funny, he could still pass for 22 -- and still gets carded. But the thought of any of our kids hitting that threshold is pretty sobering. Not in a downer kind of way. I'm just sayin'.

Just as it took me aback the first time I was addressed as "sir," or any number of situations as the parent -- first babysitter, first parent-teacher conference, first high school graduation, first college graduation, first wedding where our kid was the one getting married -- this takes a little getting used to.

Thinking back to May 3, 1980, though...it's all good.

Lori and I had been married 4 1/2 years. We were living in Salem. I was working as a newspaper reporter at the Statesman Journal. Lori was working the counter at a health food store, which, in retrospect, was way ahead of its time.

Nathan came along at 8 pounds, 7 ounces and about 21 inches long, as I recall. The stats didn't mean anything to me as long as he was born healthy and whole, and Lori was recovering well after a C-section. (He was in the breech position).

We took him home to our little two-bedroom house at the corner of 24th and Chemeketa, where we'd lay him down in the crib and, like parents everywhere, stand over him, just amazed at the miracle of life and awed by the realization that we were now responsible for his care, every hour of every day.

Two weeks later -- on May 18, to be exact -- Mount St. Helens erupted. I distinctly remember fine layers of volcanic ash settling on the red rose petals in our little backyard -- testament to the hundreds and thousands of miles that the ash traveled in the days after the mountain blew its top. I will always associate that fragile image with the memory of Nathan's arrival.

We named him Nathan -- a Hebrew word that means "gift of God " -- because his birth truly represented a gift. We named his "Alejandro" because we wanted an obvious reminder of his Mexican heritage. In the 30 years since, we have experienced so many different events and emotions with our first-born that have made us laugh, cry, worry, rejoice and laugh some more. In some respects, he's been the guinea pig for our approaches to parenting and the one who's been subjected the longest to our values, our interests and, yes, our predictable mom-and-dad sayings.

It's pretty cool at this point to be the parent of a 30-year-old who has so much more ahead in terms of work, play, romance and family.

Thirty? Bring it on.

Take me out to the ball game

Buy me some peanuts and garlic fries...

One of the few drawbacks about Portland is that it doesn't have a Major League Baseball team. That partly explains the city's love affair with its one professional sports franchise (Go, Blazers!) and it also means you've got to make a three-hour trek to Seattle if you want to see MLB.

So when the opportunity came up to make an early-season getaway with my oldest son, Nathan, I grabbed it. Rather than put my old VW bug through the stress of travel on I-5, we traveled by Amtrak (a quiet, comfortable ride with cushy seats and ample leg room) and arrived mid-afternoon, which gave me enough time for a pre-game run through downtown Seattle, all the way up to the Belltown district.

We engaged in the friendly banter of negotiations with scalpers trying to unload their tickets, knowing we held the upper hand. I mean, come on. It's a Monday night game vs. the last-place Baltimore Orioles -- a far cry from trying to score some tickets for a weekend Yankees or Red Sox series. We wound up in the lower deck, 30 rows up from the Mariners dugout, and paid about one-third of the face value for the pair. (Turns out the crowd of 14,528 was the smallest in Safeco Field history.)

I'd hoped we'd have time for a nice sitdown meal to avoid most of the rich, greasy food at the ballpark but we ran a little short on time and settled for happy hour at a sushi bar with a make-your-own-art on the walls decor and some Japanese music videos playing silently near the front door.

As I write this, Nathan is still asleep so I've got to run upstairs and get him up for breakfast. It's great having father-son time like this. Totally relaxing and a nice change of pace for both of us. Did I mention we're staying at a hotel literally across the street from the ballpark? Thanks to hotels.com, we got a good deal on the room, too.

As for those garlic fries, they've become the most popular item at major league ballparks. I first had them a few years ago at San Francisco's PacBell Park -- fitting because the world's garlic capital is in Gilroy, about 80 miles south of SF. They've become a must-have item for us here at Safeco.

Oh, final score: Mariners 8, Orioles 2.

Finally...the wedding photos

What great timing that yesterday's mail brought us the long-awaited DVD of photos from Jordan and Jamie's wedding, courtesy of Jeff and Linda Taylor, Jamie's parents. Here are just a few from that memorable day, Nov. 22, 2009. And what better day to post them than Valentine's Day 2010...


On the deck overlooking Lost Creek, outside Medford.


Jamie with bridesmaids Kristen and Grisel.


Best man Nathan with the groom.


Simone and Lori.



Newly married....

Big brother, big sister

Readers of this blog probably have noticed a disproportionate number of posts about our youngest son, Jordan. It's true. When you pack as much into a single year as he did -- join the Army, get engaged, get married, train at two military bases in Georgia and Texas -- it's hard to not take notice.

So here's a shout-out to our two older kids, Nathan, 29, and Simone, 26. It begins with this anecdote...

A co-worker mentioned to me recently that she and her husband had a great time with their daughter at the Children's Museum, and she described the look of delight on her little girl's face at seeing her parents enjoying each other's company as well as being with her. We took our kids to the Children's Museum, too, when they were younger, so I could easily imagine how happy my colleague felt in that kid-centric place, with a make-believe grocery store and restaurant, firefighters' gear, etc.

But it also prompted me to tell my colleague that as much as I enjoyed those years when our kids were younger, I really love having three adult children and feel especially fortunate to have the two older ones living in the same city as us. It's particularly satisfying to see how strong a relationship Nathan and Simone have. They hang out together frequently and, perhaps inevitably, have overlapping circles of friends and acquaintances. My conversations with both are richer, deeper, and more like friend-to-friend rather than a stodgy parent-to-child dynamic. We long ago crossed the thresholds of having a beer or bottle of wine together, of telling randy jokes, of discussing romantic interests.

A couple of specifics come to mind in defining the kind of relationship I'm proud to have with them:

A week ago Monday, Simone treated me to dinner at a nice restaurant -- a belated gift for my late December birthday. In addition to sharing a sense of adventure when it comes to food (we tried sweetbreads for the first time and loved them), we could talk at length about her plans for graduate school and how Lori and I have adjusted to life in our new neighborhood. I know Simone and her partner, Kyndall, will pick up and leave this fall for the East Coast or possibly Pennsylvania, depending on where she winds up pursuing a masters in public policy. But, just as I feel happy for Jordan gaining valuable life experience with his multiple moves, I know the cross country move will test and shape Simone in ways neither she nor we can foresee.

A few days earlier, Nathan came over for dinner with his roommate, Jared. Both are DJs and doormen at Holocene, a popular nightclub that plays live and recorded music. We ate heartily, talked incessantly and laughed our heads off at some of their stories. Later that week, Nathan asked me for help editing his cover letter and resume as he seeks to gain a more secure foothold. In addition to his evening and weekend gigs, he works in a temporary data entry job for the state. Nathan didn't always seek out the constructive criticism I had to offer, so it means more that he asks for it now. He's going to be on my bowling team for an annual charity fundraiser and we're going to catch a Blazers game together as soon as our schedules mesh.

Maybe none of the preceding sounds special. What parent doesn't savor one-on-one time with his children? All I'm saying is that I'm blessed, doubly blessed, to have our two older kids living just a few miles away from us -- and triply blessed that we share common views and values when it comes to politics, religion, popular culture, the arts and personal responsibility.

Photo, above: At Nathan's college graduation, June 2009. Below, the two amigos in Mitla, Mexico, southeast of Oaxaca, February 2006.

Our favorite DJ in the news

Who else but our own Nathan, a k a Nathan Detroit?

Nathan played a free show Saturday night at Berbati's, a club just south of West Burnside and only a couple blocks from where Saturday Market takes place. To help promote the show, Oregon Music News interviewed Nathan and Very International Love, the other act. You can read the online interview here: http://oregonmusicnews.com/blog/2009/11/06/qa-very-international-love-nathan-detroit-before-tonights-free-show/

Scroll down to the second interview. Here's an excerpt:

What does it take for you to get into a set? Do you feed off the crowd?

Undoubtedly so! To really start moving the crowd, and jackin’ my body behind the decks, I need to get some feedback from the people I’m playing for. It helps to know when I’m doing something right–smiles, handclaps, whoopin’ and hollerin’, general freak outs, and random fits of hysteria. I hunger for it.

You can also listen to a sample of what you'd hear at a Nathan Detroit show: Summer 2009 Tech Mix

Finally, check out his MySpace page, with all sorts of information and links. Warning: You may stumble across a word or two that you can't print in a family newspaper...

It's been pretty amazing to witness Nathan's transformation from overlooked, underappreciated high school student to performer. It's great that he can pursue his musical passions in this way, selecting the music, operating the DJ console, generating some irresistible dance beats for Portland audiences.

Nathan Detroit

If you're not awake yet, 10 seconds of this will bring you to life.

This is our oldest son, Nathan, at the Fire music festival last weekend near Eagle Creek Golf Course, not far from the Clackamas River.

When he's not working the door at the Holocene dance club in Southeast Portland, you can find Nathan Detroit (his stage name) spinning tunes around town as a DJ.

Enjoy!

Empty nesters no more

Given the state of the economy and how difficult it's become for a person to land a job in this town, I figured it was a matter of time before we faced the inevitable. Sure enough, Nathan moved back in with us today.

Clearly, he and we would prefer that he live independently of us. But that requires a steady income sufficient to pay rent, buy groceries and cover the myriad expenses that pop up from week to week. It just isn't happening, despite his best efforts to respond to advertised openings and keep an ear to the ground for non-publicized opportunities.

I'm encouraged that he's at least gotten to the interview stage with a few potential employers, but I also recognize there are large numbers of job-seekers out there and he's at a disadvantage in terms of experience, having just graduated from PSU less than two months ago.

Nathan has come over for dinner a few times since graduation day and it's always good to see him and spend time with him. We know we're lucky that two of our three adult children live in the same city as us and that we genuinely enjoy each other's company.

If tonight's dinner is any indication, I think we'll be fine. We had a casual dinner outside and Nathan was in a good mood, despite having to move his belongings into his brother's bedroom and his sister's basement on a brutally hot day. Afterward, he headed out to the club where he works part-time as a doorman to listen to some music. If there's a challenge for us all, it will lie in how well we deal with our different hours -- Lori being an early bird, Nathan being a night owl and me falling somewhere in between.

I say, "Welcome home to the nest" while I also cross my fingers that steady work will come his way. Job leads, anyone? Bring 'em on...