Cal Football Player Fakes Injury...Poorly

Ah, California - land of bad sitcom ideas and even worse acting.  Case in point: the Cal football player in the video below. 

If you've been following the Oregon Ducks this season, you might have heard about the controversy regarding Duck fans booing the injured players of other teams when Oregon is on offense.  The belief behind the boos of those Duck fans is that opposing teams are faking the injuries in order to slow up the high-octane Oregon offense.

Now, I must admit I thought Duck fans were searching for conspiracies where none existed.  Then I saw the video below...


(Ye Old Hat Tip to EDSBS)

Duck Troopers Preparing for Next Attack?

BREAKING NEWS:

(from MZone wire reports)  Eugene, OR -- Last week, the MZone uncovered these two chilling photos of the college football destruction machine that is Oregon football. Now comes further proof that the college football world may be dealing with something it has never faced before on an earthly gridiron.

You know, with the all-black attire and his utter ruthlessness toward opposing teams on a football field, Chip Kelly is starting to remind us of someone else. Can't quite put my finger on it...

UPDATE:  Okay, we couldn't resist.  With all Oregon's uni combos, Chip Kelly really has to watch what he wears on the sidelines.  Some pictures just scream Photoshop opportunity.

DARTH KELLY:  Don't underestimate the power of The Duck.

BREAKING NEWS: "Duck" Star seen in skies over Los Angeles

(from MZone wire reports)  Los Angeles, CA -- The college football destruction machine known as Oregon football was seen late last night heading toward Los Angeles.  Residents are being urged to remain calm. Officials hope their only target is the USC football team on Saturday and that they will spare the rest of the city.

Please stay tuned to the MZone as this story continues to develop.

Oregon Duck Mascot Moving to Muscle Beach

(from MZone wire reports)  Eugene, OR -The Oregon Duck mascot has decided to leave the team and move to Muscle Beach in Venice, California, to pursue a career as a professional body builder.  The decision came after the Duck - which does a push-up for each Oregon point after every Oregon score - did his 346,831st push-up this season in the 4th Quarter of Oregon's 60-13 pounding of UCLA last Thursday.

"First, I dropped from a waist size of 106" to 32" after the first two games,"  said the Duck sometimes known as Puddles, though not to his face anymore.  "But I didn't realize just how many damn push-ups I'd done this season and what the effect on my body was until I looked in the mirror on Saturday.  Holy crap!  I'm ripped!  So I decided now is the time to pursue my lifelong dream of becoming Mr. Olympia."

The Duck never thought that dream could become a reality, especially after his weight had ballooned in early 90s during the lackluster Rich Brooks seasons.  "We just weren't scoring.  That and I loves me the Taco Bell," said the Duck as he showed off doing those one-handed Rocky push-ups.  "Now, thanks to the number one offense in American, I can bench press just over 400 pounds.  Put it this way - I'd like to see that Ohio Bobcat mascot try to pull that shit with me that he pulled on Ohio State's Brutus.  I'd kick his punk ass all over the football field.  And you can print that."

Though nothing is official yet, the Duck also said he's planning on a series of late-night fitness infomercials.  "You think that P90X stuff gets you in shape?  Ha!  Trying doing push-ups after every score when Chip Kelly's offense plays New Mexico at home!"

The Duck Star

If you watched Oregon vs. UCLA last night, you saw that the Ducks are good.  Scary good.  Like this good...

Big HT to Friend of the MZone DC for the Photoshop!