A day for mothers

I know I'm lucky to be in this position. I rise early, while Lori sleeps in, so I can prepare a frittata as my contribution to a backyard brunch hosted by daughter and her partner. While the egg dish is baking, I call my mom in California and my stepmother in New Mexico to talk about their plans for the day.

Others, I know, are not as fortunate.

A co-worker of mine filled in last week compiling the Letters to the Editor that appeared in today's newspaper and online. On Thursday, he forwarded a letter from a reader that began "Why I Hate Mother's Day."

The author lost her mother unexpectedly, at age 80, less than a month ago and was feeling resentful at the barrage of Mother's Day advertising -- in newspapers and magazines, on TV and in store displays. For those of you with mothers who are still alive, she wrote, "cherish them and never take them for granted."

The sentiment was laudable but the bitter tone struck us as somehow out of sync with Mother's Day. Upon first reading it, I felt sorry for the woman, both for losing her mother and for the self-pity I felt she was expressing. Fortunately, my co-worker persisted...gently.

Neither of us wanted to reject the letter, so I suggested some minor edits and my co-worker e-mailed them to the author for her review, along with his own comments. Coincidentally, he wrote, he too was approaching his first Mother's Day without his mom. "So when I came across your letter about your mom," he wrote, "I was touched and sorry for your grief."

She wrote back to thank us for the suggested edits and attached a photo of herself and her mom (above). The end result is here and on The Oregonian's Opinion blog (fifth item down in the Letters to the Editor post):

Cherish your mom

My Mom, who just turned 80 on April 3, suddenly and unexpectedly died April 16. She was healthy, traveled, worked, played bridge at the senior center several days each week and continued her pool therapy after breaking her back 3 1/2 years ago, and then poof -- gone.

There were certainly some years growing up that Mother's Day was annoying with all the hype and pressure, particularly those years when I was younger and did not feel the need to honor my mom. The day my mom died, I started getting e-mails about Mother's Day things to buy, and radio ads and TV ads about not forgetting Mother's Day. I walk into a store, any store, and the first thing I see are Mother's Day promotions. Open a magazine or newspaper and again, more Mother's Day hype. Can you imagine what the first Mother's Day in 53 years without your mom will be like? I cannot, yet all day every day I cannot escape the inevitable, that I will truly have [to face] the fact that I am now a motherless daughter.

I am trying to find a way to honor my mom this Mother's Day beyond digging through her boxes of stuff, knowing I will not find her there no matter how much I wish it were so. Therefore, I have a favor to ask of all of you with mothers who are still living -- cherish them and never take them for granted, no matter how much they drive you nuts as only a mother can -- and please give your mother a hug from me.

LYNN ST. GEORGES, Beaverton

Here's a public thank-you to my co-worker, Mike Francis. And a suggestion that next time you hear someone talking about uncaring, dispassionate journalists you tell them about Mike.

Happy Mother's Day.