-- Jo Jacob, artist, musician, Lexington, Kentucky
If there's one thing I admire as a journalist, it's a great idea that's well executed. So I tip my hat -- twice -- to Esquire for coming up with a cool original idea and then improving on it.
In 2006, the magazine introduced readers to a gallery of 51 young men, representing a cross-section of America, that it called "A Portrait of the American Man at 25." It made for fascinating reading, crawling inside the minds of these young adults and gleaning as much information from their photos as from their words.
Sure enough, the summer 2011 issue, touted as the "How To Be A Man" issue, arrived last week with an update: "A Portrait of the American Man at 30." The genius of this feature is that the magazine tracked down about 40 of the very same guys it interviewed earlier and, so, was able to offer an apples-to-apples comparison.
"Some are now married with kids, living in the suburbs," the lead-in reads. "Others are divorced or in jail. Our boys are growing up."
What makes this group of guys so interesting? It's not that I think they are any more or less endowed with intelligence, looks or possibilities. It's that my oldest son is 31 and very much part of the Millennials cohort who were born from 1977 to 1998.
A 30-year-old guy born in 1981 (or 1980, in Nathan's case) has grown up in a world with Reagan and Obama as presidential bookmarks, where the career and financial aspirations enjoyed by their Boomer fathers has been dialed back in the face of a slumping world economy, where social dynamics have been shaped by the greatest diversity our country has ever seen, including growing acceptance of gays.
Their lives have been facilitated and complicated in every conceivable way by personal technology and the phenomenon of anywhere-anytime communication. Their female peers have been raised believing they are entitled to rights, privileges and opportunities that many of their mothers had to fight for -- and those attitudes have contributed to the Rubik's Cube of dating and commitment.
So what do these 30-year-old men have to say?
At the risk of gross generalization, it seems that five years has made all the difference in the maturation process. No, they all haven't settled down. But many of them, if not most, have left behind the party lifestyle and self-centered mindset and embraced new responsibilities -- marriage, parenthood, well-reasoned notions of work and career. It's good to see so many have a great sense of humor and speak with such candor.
I've rambled on far too much already, so let's cut to the chase. I hope the following sampling of quotes will encourage you to pick up the June/July issue (inexplicably, it's not online) and read the article in its entirety -- or just leave a comment. Do their words ring true? What do you (regardless of your gender) remember thinking, doing, aspiring to when you were 30? 25?
"Twenty five was a turning point in my life that put me in a situation that I was unsure of. At thirty, I have taken some chances that have proven to have lot of potential. It's amazing what a little kick in the ass can do to a person."
-- Ricky Wayne Brule, entrepreneur, St. Francis, Minnesota
"I always thought I wanted kids. But now I'm really torn between what would make me happy -- being a really effective professor/writer or being a good parent. I don't see being both as a realistic option."
-- Kyle Dargan, Washington, D.C.
"Decisions have more consequences now than they did when I was twenty-five, so I find myself to be more calculated in my decision-making."
-- Evan deSieves, manager, wind energy company, Portland, Oregon
"Teens? You can have 'em. Early twenties? Couldn't pay me to take those back. Now? This is the time. This is my time. I've never felt more comfortable being a man."
-- Philip Dawkins, playwright, educator, Chicago, Illinois
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