Your life vs. college life: Go U Northwestern, indeed!

YOUR LIFE

After sitting through a boring-as-hell meeting for 2+ hours that's already running waaaay long, your boss actually has the nerve to ask if folks mind staying an extra 15 minutes (which is still going 25 minutes later) so he can talk about more bullshit that could've been covered in the initial meeting that should have lasted all of about a half hour.

And because of where you're sitting and his view of your seat, you can't even secretly play Angry Birds on your iPhone while pretending to review the work materials. 

COLLEGE LIFE

First off, you're already spending a couple hours a week talking about sex in your Human Sexuality course at Northwestern.

Winning.

Today's class was especially awesome as the topic was bondage, swinging and other fetishes.

More winning.  Duh.

But then, after class was officially dismissed, your professor said students could stick around "if they want" for a demonstration of sex toys and the female orgasm. 

If you want?  Gee, lemme see: live sex show or Poli Sci 138?  Tough call.

So you and a hundred of your classmates take the professor up on his generous offer.  Next, an exhibitionist couple provide a learning experience that will last a lifetime: the woman undresses on stage and her male partner brings her to orgasm with a device that looks like a machine-powered saw with a phallic object instead of a blade.

As you watch, you can't help but wonder what the wait list is gonna be like for this class next year.  Hell, students from other schools are going to be on this wait list.  "I'm studying abroad this semester - in Evanston."

Yes, it's not often Charlie Sheen is jealous of your life.

If only Econ were this interesting.

Greatest. Class. Ever.

ED. NOTE: C'mon, you know every student in there had a cellphone. Where is this YouTube video?!

Your Life vs. College Life

YOUR LIFE:

An email went out today announcing the new company dress code.  Instead of moving forward with the times, your boss is actually making the office dress code more formal.  WTF?!  Collars, ties and sport coats for the men.  And you don't even deal with clients.  WTF?!?!  "Casual" Friday means no sport coat when you're at your desk.

Seriously - WTF!?!?!?

COLLEGE LIFE:

It's a night game.  Your team's #1.  Temps potentially dipping into the 40s.

Hmmm, what color toga should you wear?

Your Life vs. College Life

This marks the return of an old MZone favorite.

YOUR LIFE:

Not only are you about to be laid off, but you actually have to train the guys who will be replacing you at the call center in India.  And you have to do it with a smile on your face or there goes that letter of recommendation you need as well as your severance package.  Shit.

At 5 o'clock, you're almost to the elevator when your boss stops you to remind you about the party in the break room.  Apparently the dude you're training who's taking your job halfway across the world is turning 32 today.  And your boss, Phil, thought it would be nice to throw him a little birthday party to show him there were no hard feelings "during this difficult time."

After being stuck in a conversation pretending to give a shit about the sport of cricket ("You're right, it really is just like baseball") for almost a half an hour, the cake arrives.  Finally.  Now maybe you can leave-- Hey, what's that music?  Why is Janet from human resources putting her arms in the air like that?  Holy crap - do they really expect you to do the chicken dance?

COLLEGE LIFE:

You were just supposed to all meet at Becky's apartment for a little pre-partying before hitting that bar on the other side of campus to celebrate her 21st birthday.  But by the time you got there, Becky and her friends were already wasted.

Then  Doug - good ol' Doug - "jokingly" suggested you should all play truth or dare while you finish the beer before heading out. "Somehow," within 10 minutes, the dares got to the point that "somehow" clothing was flying and the girls were all in the kitchen making out.

You never make it to that bar. 

The next morning as you're walking home, you're pretty sure the girl you hooked up with the night before was named Amy.  Or was that the name of her friend you were making out with right before she pulled you away?  Shit.  Oh well, if she friends you on Facebook like she said she would, you'll figure it out later.