The Battle of Fort Rodriguez

BREAKING NEWS:

(from MZone wire reports) Ann Arbor, MI -- Simmering tensions between Michigan fans supporting Rich Rodriguez and those opposing the beleaguered head coach erupted in hostilities yesterday marking what many consider the start of a civil war amongst the Wolverine faithful.

The initial battle broke out on the main Michigan message boards at Scout.com and Rivals.com in the wake of Michigan's 38-28 loss to Iowa on Saturday.  Following the defeat, those against Rodriguez began comparing the 2010 campaign to the clusterfuck that was the 2008 2009 season while those urging patience claimed the talent in Michigan's secondary was only slightly better than the back-ups on the JV squad at Ann Arbor Pioneer.

"Rich Rodriguez is the worst coach to ever have coached any sport in the history of sports, including the ancient Greek Olympics.  And he probably kills puppies, too," said Rivals poster "9-4AndAVictoryOverFlorida-InANewYearsBowl-DoesntSeemSoFuckingBadNow_DoesIt851" as he fired a cannon shot at the pro-Rich front lines.

Gen. Brian Cook surveys the battlefield

But that volley was met by a quick counter-attack from ImNamingMyTwinDaughtersRich-And-Rodriguez7856, "Rich Rodriguez is a God, only in human form. On a football field.  Wearing a headset.  And not only will he win us 9 National Titles in a row, he'll also cure cancer during the off-season if people would just have a little patience."

A second front in the expanding conflict opened up in the Maize and Blue blogosphere when the website Genuinely Sarcastic was so disgusted with Michigan's performance last weekend that they refused to put up a new post following the Iowa game.  Instead, the bloggers simply left up their MSU game diatribe, "Disillusionment," which slammed Rodriguez and the direction of the football program under him.  Brian Cook, Supreme Commander of the pro-Rich Rod forces at MGoBlog, ordered the anti-Rich Rod rant removed.  When Genuinely Sarcastic refused, Cook and his army of some 75,000 plus daily readers encircled the curiously-named site and threatened to cut off their Internet traffic by removing them from his links section.

Faced with a cyber Siege of Stalingrad that would leave its traffic flow on par with this Florida Gator site,  Genuinely Sarcastic was able to dispatch a cavalry rider to the MZone in a desperate plea for help.  Military experts theorize that the MZone was picked because it's founder, the strikingly handsome and noted lothario, Colonel Fielding Yost, is said to sympathize with the "What the &^%$! is Rich Rod doing to our &^%$! football program?!" faction of Michigan fans.

However, having only recently returned to the blogosphere after being AWOL for 2+ years, Colonel Yost and his meager readership were no match for the Mighty MGoBlog, and calls for reinforcements from the Wolverine Liberation Army went unanswered.

Unrelated, cool-looking battlefield map for no reason

Rumors that In Rod We Trust launched unprovoked attacks against MVictors and Maize N Brew at the urging of Private Rick Leach because the two sites wouldn't change their names to WeTrustWorshipAndLoveRodEvenMore.com and .org, respectively, were unconfirmed at press time.

And unidentified reports claiming that Go Blue M Wolverine, The Hoover Street Rag and Holy Fuck I Think We're Now Officially Out of Michigan-Themed Names For Any More Michigan-Themed Football Blogs started a guerrilla campaign against MGoBlog by planting links to Michael Rosenberg articles on the site's comment section were also unverified.

With the Maize and Blue Nation about to be torn apart right where the maize meets the blue, Michigan AD Dave Brandon called for calm and asked EDSBS founder Orson Swindle to help broker a peace accord, even offering to throw in free pizza.  But Swindle was on his way to the LSU/Auburn game and refused to get in the middle of the conflict.

"This is for U-M fans to figure out by themselves," said Swindle.  "On their campus, on their message boards and on one of the 698 Michigan-centric college football blogs out there."

THIS IS A BREAKING NEWS STORY.  PLEASE CHECK BACK FOR FURTHER UPDATES AND PHOTOS AS THEY BECOME AVAILABLE.