Just in case you have not already heard the news, Les Miles joined Jim Harbaugh in the "Thanks, but No Thanks" club today. I understand and respect their professional choices, but this coaching search business is starting to feel like a repeated knee to the baby maker.
For the love of GOD, enough is enough -- not so sure how hard it is to choose someone that is both competent and interested.
On the bright side, it is nice to see coaches with a Michigan degree getting paid handsomely for their skills and experience. Harbaugh got a nice fat paycheck on Friday from the San Francisco 49ers and this latest news marks the second time in just over three years that Les has used his Michigan degree to get a nice healthy raise from the fine folks at LSU. And for the record, if anyone ever mentions Les Miles as a future Michigan football coach, ever again -- they need to slapped.
As Michigan's coaching search enters its make-or-break week, in a desperate need to fill the information vacuum, I love all the folks using flight data like a Ouija board. I've gotten a few good laughs reading all the chatter about some dude (it's always a dude) going to PeopleWhoUsedToListenToPoliceScannersButNowTrackFlights.org, finding any flight leaving any airport within 60 miles of Ann Arbor, then using the flight's ultimate destination to make a prediction about about who Michigan is talking to with about as much accuracy as Kirk Herbstreit.
From GoBlueNbyNWfan: A small crop duster piloted by man wearing an "M" hat left Willow Run airport yesterday then flew real low over a farm outside Monroe. Pretty sure this means UM interested in 3rd generation wheat farmer Bill Simmowitz or the ghost of Cary Grant.
...being spotted in Baton Rouge, home of LSU, before departing the same day.
The plane is owned by Richard H. Rogel, a financially well-endowed Michigan alum who personally donated $22 million to the school in 2004. According to the SportsByBrooks link above, Rogel is also a member of the U-M’s “Director’s Cabinet in the Department of Intercollegiate Athletics.”
Naturally, this meant the flight had something to do with Michigan pursuing Tiger coach Les Miles for its coaching vacancy. Just one little problem with that conclusion: Miles - along with probably anybody else in the LSU athletic department one would reasonably expect to discuss the matter with if it was true - was in Dallas for LSU's Cotton Bowl game that day.
But I'm more skeptical for a totally different reason.
I think we can all agree that Michigan athletic director Dave Brandon is playing this so close to the vest that his lips probably won't know the choice until the name of the new coach leaves his mouth. That's why I can't imagine anything close to this conversation taking place:
DAVE BRANDON: I'm thinking about Les Miles to fill our coaching vacancy so I'm going to Baton Rouge tomorrow. But if I fly commercial, everybody will see me on the plane, and in the airport, and it will spread like wildfire. I was able to keep it a secret for 40 days that I was firing Rich Rod, but I wouldn't be able to keep this a secret for 40 minutes if I did that. Any suggestions?
RICHARD H. ROGEL: You can borrow my private jet.
DAVE BRANDON: You mean the bright maize and blue painted Gulfstream that looks like a giant flying Michigan football helmet?
RICHARD H. ROGEL: Yep, that's the one. And it plays The Victors out of huge speakers on the bottom of the plane and shoots maize and blue streamers out of the nosecone as it descends.
DAVE BRANDON: Perfect. I'll be like a NAVY Seal - in and out before anybody even notices.
RICHARD H. ROGEL: Absolutely. One problem Dave - Les and the entire Tiger athletic department are in Dallas for LSU's Cotton Bowl game tomorrow.
DAVE BRANDON: Oh, I know. I'm going down there to feel it out first with Frank Tibbeleux who heads up the stadium janitorial staff. Do my due diligence. Just don't tell anyone.
RICHARD H. ROGEL: Scout's honor, Dave. I'll have the jet ready.
BREAKING NEWS: In addition to Les Miles and Jim Harbaguh, third generation wheat farmer Bill Simmowitz has also rejected an offer to coach at Michigan.
After yet another ballsy 4th down call against Alabama, it's easy to see why Les Miles has established himself as the coach with arguably the biggest pair in college football.
And it just might be going to his head.
In another MZone exclusive, we have obtained this picture of Les Miles' car.
MZone Exclusive: Les Miles' Car
And speaking of Les and his man sack, we at the MZone would like to propose a new nickname for The Mad Hatter: Cricket.
Why Cricket?
Because a cricket has broken the world record for largest testicles in relation to body weight. According the article linked here, "the tuberous bushcricket's testicles account for 14 percent of its body weight. To put that in perspective, the testicles of a man weighing 200 pounds with that ball-to-body ratio would weigh 28 pounds."
And if any human being is close to that ratio, it's Les "Cricket" Miles.
We here at the MZone want to make sure that the college football fans who read this thrown together rag meticulously researched website are an informed bunch. Well versed in the nuances of the game.
Thus, in an effort to further that noble endeavor, below is the first of an occasional new feature: the MZone Pop Quiz. Read the question below and choose the best answer from the choices listed then explain your answer in the comments section.
And IU fans, please - keep your eyes on your own keyboard.
MULTIPLE CHOICE
Les Miles' end-of-game clock management skills are worse than:
Just in case you have not already heard the news, Les Miles joined Jim Harbaugh in the "Thanks, but No Thanks" club today. I understand and respect their professional choices, but this coaching search business is starting to feel like a repeated knee to the baby maker. 
