Funny Definitions

Funny Definitions

Humorous definitions to make your day a little bit better.

• ADULT: A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle.


• BALDERDASH: A rapidly receding hairline.


• CHICKENS: The only animals you eat before they are born and after they are dead.


• DERANGE: Where de buffalo roam.


• ETERNITY: The last two minutes of a football game.


• FABLE: A story told by a teenager arriving home after curfew.


• GUM: Adhesive for the hair.


• HEARSAY: What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.


• INDEPENDENT: How we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say.


• KISSING: A means of getting two people so close together that they can't see anything wrong with each other.


• LEMONADE STAND: Complicated business venture where Mom buys powdered mix, sugar, lemons, and paper cups, and sets up a table, chairs, pitchers and ice for kids who sit there for three to six minutes and net a profit of 15 cents.


• MISTY (mis-tee'): How golfers create divots.


• NAIL POLISH: Part of an assortment of make-up items such as lipstick, eyeliner, blush etc. which ironically make Mom look better while making her young daughter look "like a tramp."


• OPPORTUNIST: A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.


• PRIVATE TUTOR: Someone who doesn't fart in public.


• QUIET: A state of household serenity which occurs before the birth of the first child and occurs again after the last child has left for college.


• RELIEF (ree-leef'): What trees do in the spring.


• SCHOOL TEACHER: A disillusioned person who used to think they liked children.


• TOMORROW: One of the greatest labor saving devices of today.


• Urine: Opposite of you're out.


• VEGETARIAN: Old Indian word for bad hunter.


• WRINKLES: Something other people have. You have character lines.


• YAWN: An honest opinion openly expressed.


• ZUCCHINI: Vegetable which can be baked, boiled, fried or steamed before kids refuse to eat it.

By:Keri Utz

*No definitions for x sorry.

Thanks to http://www.butlerwebs.com/jokes/definitions.htm for this information.