Funny Definitions
Humorous definitions to make your day a little bit better.
- ADULT: A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle.
- BALDERDASH: A rapidly receding hairline.
- CHICKENS: The only animals you eat before they are born and after they are dead.
- DERANGE: Where de buffalo roam.
- ETERNITY: The last two minutes of a football game.
- FABLE: A story told by a teenager arriving home after curfew.
- GUM: Adhesive for the hair.
- HEARSAY: What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.
- INDEPENDENT: How we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say.
- KISSING: A means of getting two people so close together that they can't see anything wrong with each other.
- LEMONADE STAND: Complicated business venture where Mom buys powdered mix, sugar, lemons, and paper cups, and sets up a table, chairs, pitchers and ice for kids who sit there for three to six minutes and net a profit of 15 cents.
- MISTY (mis-tee'): How golfers create divots.
- NAIL POLISH: Part of an assortment of make-up items such as lipstick, eyeliner, blush etc. which ironically make Mom look better while making her young daughter look "like a tramp."
- OPPORTUNIST: A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.
- PRIVATE TUTOR: Someone who doesn't fart in public.
- QUIET: A state of household serenity which occurs before the birth of the first child and occurs again after the last child has left for college.
- RELIEF (ree-leef'): What trees do in the spring.
- SCHOOL TEACHER: A disillusioned person who used to think they liked children.
- TOMORROW: One of the greatest labor saving devices of today.
- Urine: Opposite of you're out.
- VEGETARIAN: Old Indian word for bad hunter.
- WRINKLES: Something other people have. You have character lines.
- YAWN: An honest opinion openly expressed.
- ZUCCHINI: Vegetable which can be baked, boiled, fried or steamed before kids refuse to eat it.
By:Keri Utz
*No definitions for x sorry.
Thanks to http://www.butlerwebs.com/jokes/definitions.htm for this information.
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