By sharing this adventure, I'm shredding any ounce of dignity I ever had. On Saturday afternoon our church youth group took a trip to Uncle Shuck's up in Dawsonville. It's got a pumpkin patch, hayrides, a bonfire, a corn cannon, lots of good food, and corn mazes! Here is an aerial view of this year's design.
We did both the regular mazes. It was muddy as all get out, from all the rain we've had here in Georgia, and so maneuvering through the corn was not just figuring out your way, but figuring out where to step. I had my purse with me and carried it in the crook of my arm. We got to laughing about how goofy I looked. One kid asked why I brought my pockeybook into the maze, to which he added "do you have checks to write or something?" — which we thought was the funniest thing ever. Here I am in all my "that lady's a character" glory.
A small group of us decided to stay for the haunted maze. That meant hanging out for an hour and a half until it got dark, but there was plenty to do (including good people watching, hands down one of my favorite pastimes). We watched zombies and Freddy Kruegers arrive, no doubt the people who would be scaring us. It was getting darker and darker. The bats were out in full force, flying above our heads and swooping in a little too close at times. When the sky was black, we went in.
It was horrific. We got chased by masked children with powered-up chain saws. People jumped out of the corn. You'd come around a corner and at the end of the row stood a barely-visible figure who would slowly walk towards you, but you couldn't turn around. Zombies dragged their almost lifeless bodies out of the corn, grabbing for your ankles. And with every blood curdling scream, I wet myself a little, until by the end of the haunted maze I had completely emptied my bladder. My pants were wet down to my knees. The lady who writes checks in corn mazes was a mess. And she had a blast!
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