Exodus: 683rd Player Leaves Michigan Program Under Rodriguez

Defensive End Anthony LaLota has decided to transfer from Michigan.  LaLota, a redshirt freshman from Princeton, N.J., becomes the 683rd player to leave the Wolverine football team since coach Rich Rodriquez became head coach before the 2008 season.

What started as a trickle when Rameses Rodriguez took over -- and players such as QB Ryan Mallet, RB Sam McGuffie and OL Justin HisNameShallNeverBeMentionedAgain left -- has turned into a flood as more and more players have bolted Ann Arbor.

"Look!  Rodriguez!  Rodriguez!"

And the exodus now seems to be spreading beyond the football team.  After LaLota announced his departure, football secretary Liz Freeman, assistant trainer Butch Yunger and Dusty Johnson, the night janitor who cleans Schembechler Hall, also said they were all leaving, effectively immediately.

Even students are now starting to feel the itch to ditch A2.  Dan Leibikowski, a junior Poli Sci major living in East Quad, announced his impending transfer after attending a Ron Paul rally in the Diag on Monday.  Leibikowski joins three other students on his floor who decided to exit the university in just the last week.

"I don't even go to the games," said Leibikowski as he packed his water bong, his hacky sack and took the Grateful Dead poster off his soon-to-be-former dorm room wall.  "But since Rich Ramirez took over as the coach, it's not the same around here anymore."

When reached by the MZone staff and asked to comment on the alarming number of defections from his team and the school at large, Coach Rodriguez didn't seem concerned.  "Look, I want guys here who want to be here.  Period.  So anybody who wants to leave is welcome to do so...unless his name starts with a 'D' and ends in 'ard'."