MZone Time Machine: Why we have nothing to fear vs. UMass...right?

As I was working under the hood of the new and improved MZone 2.0, I stumbled across this old post from Tuesday, August 28, 2007.  It was titled "I'll Take None of the Above for $100."  It got all of ZERO comments.  Apparently our readers at the time felt the subject was such a joke, it wasn't worth discussing.

So here is that post in its entirety.  Read.  Enjoy.  Feel a cold chill race down your spine regarding the UMass game.

I'll Take None of the Above for $100

The official Appalachian State website has a poll up regarding their game this weekend against Michigan. The "Coca-Cola Fan Poll" asks the following:

Which area will be most critical for the Mountaineers in the Sept. 1 football opener at Michigan?

A) ASU offense vs. U-M defense
B) ASU defense vs. U-M offense
C) Special Teams

"Most critical," as in what it will take for Appy State to win?

Now, while I admire their moxie, let's me honest, folks,: none of those answers should make a difference.

But, this being the MZone, we've come up with some other poll answers which they forgot to include that could actually turn the tide in ASU's favor...

D) Entire U-M team oversleeps
E) ASU has nude photos of Lloyd Carr and a group of young Asian boys
F) Instead of practicing this week, U-M forced to watch ASU Hot! Hot! Hot! video 24/7
G) The game is played in an alternate universe where U-M is a 1-AA team and ASU is winningest major college program of all time
H) Jim Herrrrmannnn returns to coach U-M defense
I) ASU comes out wearing OSU replica uniforms
J) Michigan fans forget to shake their keys thus negating the jet-like noise of the Michigan Stadium home field advantage.
K) King Leonidas comes back from the dead to QB the Mountaineers

If there are any I forgot, please feel free to leave them in the comments section.


(HT: Dave)