It is well known among Mongo's crew that I am a pretty intelligent dude. In fact, Mongo has a professionally, but more importantly, Internet-tested IQ of somewhere between 130-140. On the scale of idiot to genius, I'm a lot closer to the latter than the former.
I say all of this because I want to establish the fact that I, Mongo Pusher, being clinically certified as smart, am actually a retard. ("No derogatory slight to the mentally impaired intended. Merely a colloquial slang expression describing my actual lack of intelligence.") I have fallen off the wagon!!!
Before I left today on my 45 mile fat burning/ interval ride, I was thinking to myself how good I was feeling sixteen days into my "November Ice Cream Fast", and how the combination of less fat intake and more cardio with the jump rope had really started to pay off. Those good feelings all ended at about mile 37.
I rolled into a gas station to get a couple of Power Bars and a Coke Zero. I was feeling hungry and I always enjoy a soda towards the end of a hard ride. I grabbed all of these items plus...a Klondike Bar. It didn't even dawn on me that it was ice cream. I just thought to myself that I was hot and that the Klondike Bar would be refreshing. It wasn't until I was two or three bites in that the realization hit me. For a brief moment I was genuinely horrified at what I was doing, but after finishing the delicious chocolate and ice cream delight and properly scolding myself, I promptly jumped back on the wagon.
I must admit that Mongo thought about not mentioning his transgression. In the great scheme of things, this is nothing. Mongo approximates that in the past sixteen days I have saved myself over 12,000 calories and 300 grams of fat. Today was a brain fart and won't happen again. I'm taking this s**t seriously!
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